To You, The Beloved

Hi friends! It’s been a while since I’ve sent out an Overflow, and in many ways, the past four months have felt like a lot has happened, yet not much at all. I’ve had busyness with travel, activities with friends and family, and honestly, a lot of wrestling with the Lord. This issue isn’t going to be a deep dive or heavy teaching – rather, it’s just a glimpse into a simple Truth I’m re-learning as I walk with Him.

I recently shared with a friend that 2025 has felt like an unusual season in my walk with God. It’s been more of a fight to maintain what has previously come naturally in our relationship. Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t felt disconnected from Him, and it’s not like I’ve had a crisis of faith. But the desire for spiritual disciplines and the ease of diving into the Word and receiving revelation have come more in waves and through more struggle than I’m used to. His nearness and goodness have been consistent, yet I’ve found myself wrestling and almost trying to “work” back into the familiar feelings I associate with those practices. And let me tell you – it has FELT like work.

I suppose you could call it a drier season in some ways – or at least one that’s a bit more like a weather seesaw than a smooth or predicable climate.

A few weeks ago, I decided to fast for a few days, hoping it would help me shake off the funk as I faced it again. But wow, let me tell you – this was hands down the hardest fast I’ve had in a long time. I felt buried under guilt, struggle, and this nagging sense of failure. I kept asking myself: Did He even ask me to do this? What was I expecting to gain from it? Does it even matter?

A few days later after I had broken fast, something gripped my attention as I was sitting around a large table in a coffee shop with some fellow believers reading through a few Psalms. As we talked, I had a moment of clarity. I realized one of the reasons the fast had been so difficult – it wasn’t truly fueled by His strength. Instead, it felt more like I was trying to strong-arm my way into breakthrough on my own – and let’s face it, that’s something I could never manufacture alone.

I was striving, trying to earn something, instead of letting myself receive His love and lean into it for strength. And I think in some ways, that’s what I’ve been doing all year long. That’s when it hit me: maybe there’s a gap in my understanding of His love for me.

As we continued in conversation, a friend shared a story from an interview he listened to with a seasoned and well-respected pastor and Bible teacher. He was at a conference speaking to a room full of other pastors and leaders and asked the group to stand if they ever wrestled with or questioned God’s love for them. Two-third of the people stood up – and these were pastors!

That stuck with me as I began quietly sitting there questioning what I believe about this. As I allowed my thoughts to go there, I could feel the corners of my eyes start to burn. It was clear the Holy Spirit was gently stirring something tender in my heart.

In waiting seasons or when things don’t go my way, I’ve already trained my mind to return quickly to the truth: “God is good – only good – and He works all things for my good and His glory.” And that is helpful – but God wanted me to see something more this time. While I understand and believe in His goodness, I don’t think I’ve always connected that characteristic directly to His love for me.

I think in my efforts to try and “get back” to those familiar feelings with God in my spiritual disciplines (what my friend and I have since named “flow state with God” – ironic, as my word for this year was ‘flow’!), I’ve missed the opportunity to really let the love of the Father be the source that drives them.

It sounds simple, and I know it in my head – but it’s moving it down the 12 inches into my heart that have been difficult. The reality is, He loves me regardless of what I do for Him– and that is hard to comprehend, especially as an enneagram 3 achiever. The truth I needed was this: He’s not merely after my works – He’s after my heart.

Since then, I’ve been intentionally meditating on His love for me – not just saying “He is good,” but truly embracing “He is good and He loves me.” I want that truth to settle so deeply in my heart that no matter what circumstance I find myself in, I can rest in the fact that His love for me never changes. Whether I have everything or feel like I have nothing – whether I feel like I am producing a lot of fruit or stand bare and fruitless – His love for me remains the same.

That morning in the coffee shop, while we talked about His love for us, a friend shared a quote that was something like, “how boldly one walks into a room when they are confident in knowing how much they are loved”. And that’s what I want. An unshakable knowing that produces that kind of boldness.

Before we left, we were given this verse: Zephaniah 3:17 – “The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Another translation says, “He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

While the original context of this verse speaks to the Israelites and the promise that the remnant who made God their refuge would be saved, the words hold a universal for all of us. He delights in us, rejoices over us, and steadies us with His love.

So as I wrap this up, my prayer for each of you is that you, too, allow this Truth to get deep inside of you. I pray that it’s the Father’s love that carries you into ‘flow state’ where striving stops and the rhythm is natural. Because when we walk with Him in this way, fully confident in how deeply we’re loved, there will be a boldness that will follow. It’ll be the kind that others might not understand – but they’ll notice. And that curiosity? It will all point back to Him.

Finally, here’s this month's additional content that benefited me recently:

• To Sharpen: Contend for the Faith - Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell 

• To Worship: Never Lose My Fire - MBL Worship, Brennan Joseph

• To Soak: HOLY SPIRIT | IN HIS PRESENCE | Soaking worship instrumental

• To Ponder: Lamentations 3:22-23

And as always, I ask you to remember this truth: your life and what you do with it matters. The world needs you, and as you follow and remain in Jesus, you WILL bear fruit!

Much Love,

Kellie